RAHAN PARISH COMMUNITY


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Getting Married

Sacraments

Preparing For Your Wedding

Because a church wedding is also recognised as a civil ceremony you must fulfil requirements for The Church, and for The State.


Church Requirements You must visit the Priest in the parish where you are resident and fill a pre-nuptial enquiry form. When doing this you must supply a new baptismal certificate (not more than 6 months old) together with your confirmation certificate, and evidence of some preparation course you have attended.All other details will be given you by your Priest.


Please Note In our diocese of Meath NO WEDDINGS take placeon SUNDAYS or on HOLYDAYS [ 6th January, 17th March, 15th August, 1st November, 8th December and 25th December] or on HOLY THURSDAY, GOOD FRIDAY, and HOLY SATURDAY. These dates change every year, so please check carefully. the following are the upcoming dates:-2009 9th, 10th, 11th April 2010 1st, 2nd, 3rd AprilUse of the churches are free to parishioners, but a donation to the sacristan is normal since they will help in preparation for your celebration and clean up after it. For couples from outside our parish seeking the use of one of the churches for their celebrations, there is a fee of €250, (€200 for the building use and €50 for the Sacristan). We encourage you to bring your own priest. To book your wedding please contact the parish at 057 9321892



State Requirements for a Valid Marriage

Give three months notice of intention to marry. This is a substantive requirement for a valid marriage. Any marriage, whether by religious or by civil ceremony, will not be valid in civil law unless three months notification has been given, or; unless permission to marry has been granted by the High Court under Section 33, of the Family Law Act, 1995.2. How notification may be given. Both parties may write jointly ( or separately) to the Registrar of the district in which the marriage is to be solemnised giving the following information; Name and address of the parties to the marriage; Name of the church or place where the marriage will take place; The date on which the marriage is to take place; The age of the parties or confirmation that the parties are over eighteen.ORA pre-printed form is available which may be completed and returned to the Registrar. If only ONE letter or form is sent to the Registrar it must be signed by both parties. The Registrar will issue each party to the intended marriage with an acknowledgement confirming the date of receipt of notification. You must retain this document and produce it, when requested, to the person solemnising the marriage. Registrar of the district:- Registrar of Deaths, Births & Marriages, Midland Health Centre,Arden Road,Tullamore,Co. Offaly.


Minimum age for Marriage. The minimum age at which a person, ordinarily resident in the State ,may marry is eighteen years of age. This applies also to the party to the marriage who is resident outside the State.

The Ceremony: Talk to your priest about the Ceremony. Marriage does NOT have to be part of Mass. If you are not church going, or if you do not believe in the Sacrament of the Eucharist, or if your marriage is one of mixed religion, it is more appropriate that you celebrate the sacrament of marriage without Mass. You would have a full ceremony of confessing / repenting, readings, commitments, hymns etc.The following is a selection of bible readings, the choices of wordings of commitment, and the 'prayer of the newly married couple



The Word of God: Readings.

Readings from Sacred Scripture [ONLY from the BIBLE]
are allowed at this part of the ceremony.

Choose one reading from the Old Testament. The following are some of the most frequently used:-

A Reading from the book of Genesis 1:26-28, 31a
Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth."So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth."God saw everything that he had made,and indeed, it was very good. This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the book of Genesis 2: 18-24
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." So out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken." Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the Book of Ruth (1:16-17, and 4,9-13)

Ruth said, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." Then Boaz announced to the elders and all the people, "Today you are witnesses that I have acquired Ruth, as my wife.Then the elders and all those at the gate said, "We are witnesses. May the LORD make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah,
who together built up the house of Israel. May you be famous in Bethlehem. So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. This is the word of the Lord..

A Reading from the Song of Songs 2:8-10, 14, 16 8:6-7
The voice of my beloved! Look, he comes, leaping upon the mountains, bounding over the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he stands behind our wall, gazing in at the windows, looking through the lattice. My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the covert of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. My beloved is mine and I am his; he pastures his flock among the lilies…. Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned. This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the Song of Songs 2:10-14, 16
My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the covert of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely…" My beloved is mine and I am his; he pastures his flock among the lilies. This is the word of the Lord

A Responsorial Psalm is read or sung after the First reading from Scripture.

The following readings are from the New Testament. Choose one.These are some of the most frequently used:-

A Reading from the letter to the Romans 8:31-35, 37-39
What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, will he not also give us all things with him? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies; who is to condemn? Is it Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised from the dead, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us?Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.For I am sure that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the letter to the Romans 12:1-2, 9-18
I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.Let love be genuine;hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with brotherly affection; outdo one another in showing honour. Never flag in zeal, be aglow with the Spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints, practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; never be conceited. Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all.This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the letter to the Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with might through his Spirit in the inner person, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have power to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge,that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations,for ever and ever. Amen.This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the first letter of St Paul to the Corinthians 12:31- 13:8

But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the letter to the Colossians 3:12-17 12
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience,forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the first letter of John 3:18-24 18
Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth, and reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God;and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the first letter of John 1 John 4:7-12
Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God; for God is love.In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the expiation for our sins.Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.This is the word of the Lord

The following are Gospel readings. [Your priest may prefer to choose one of these]

A Reading from the Gospel according to Matthew 5:1-12
Seeing the crowds, Jesus went up on the mountain, and when he sat down his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons and daughters of God."Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before youThis is the Gospel of the Lord

A Reading from the Gospel according to Matthew 5:13-16
Jesus said to the crowds, "You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trodden under foot."You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.Let your light so shine before others, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.This is the Gospel of the Lord

A Reading from the Gospel according to Matthew 7:21, 24-29
Jesus said to the crowds, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock; and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And every one who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand; and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell; and great was the fall of it." And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he taught them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.This is the Gospel of the Lord

A Reading from the Gospel according to Matthew 19:3-6
And Pharisees came up to Jesus and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" Jesus answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."This is the Gospel of the Lord

A Reading from the Mark 10:6-9
Jesus said to the Pharisees, "But from the beginning of creation,'God made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh.What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." This is the Gospel of the Lord

A Reading from the Holy Gospel according to Saint John 2:1-11
On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him,"They have no wine." And Jesus said to her, "O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you." Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, "Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, "Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast." So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, "Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now." This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him. This is the Gospel of the LordA Reading from the Holy Gospel according to John 15:9-12 Jesus said to the disciples, "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." This is the Gospel of the LordA Reading from the Holy Gospel according to John 15:12-16 Jesus said to the disciples, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this; that a man lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you." This is the Gospel of the Lord

A Reading from the Holy Gospel according to John 17:20-26

When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven and said, "I do not pray for these only, but also for those who believe in me through their word, that they may all be one; even as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. The glory which thou hast given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and thou in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that thou hast sent me and hast loved them even as thou hast loved me.Father, I desire that they also, whom thou hast given me, may be with me where I am, to behold my glory which thou hast given me in thy love for me before the foundation of the world.O righteous Father, the world has not known thee, but I have known thee; and these know that thou hast sent me. I made known to them thy name, and I will make it known, that the love with which thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them."This is the Gospel of the Lord.

There are three suggested form of words for the exchange of vows:

A
Priest:
Dear children of God, you have come to this church so that the Lord may seal your love in the presence of the priest and this community. Christian marriage is a sacred union which enriches natural love. It binds those who enter it to be faithful to each other for ever; it creates between them a bond that endures for life and cannot be broken; it demands that they love and honour each other, (that they accept from God the children he may give them, and bring them up in his love). To help them in their marriage, the husband and wife receive the life-long grace of the sacrament. Is this your understanding of marriage?Bride and Groom: It is.

B

Dear children of God, you have come to this church so that the Lord may seal your love in the presence of the priest and this community. Christ blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism; now, by a special sacrament, he strengthens you to fulfil the duties of your married life. N. and N., you are about to celebrate this sacrament. Have you come here of your own free will and choice and without compulsion to marry each other

Bride and Groom: We have.

Priest: Will you love and honour each other in marriage all the days of your life?
Bride and Groom: We will.

Priest: Are you willing to accept with love the children God may send you, and bring them up in accordance with the law of Christ and his Church? (These words may be omitted if the couple are advanced in years.)
Bride and Groom: We are.

C
Priest:

Bride and Groom: We have.
Priest: Will you love and honour each other in marriage all the days of your life?
Bride and Groom: We will.
Priest: Are you willing to accept with love the children God may send you, and bring them up in accordance with the law of Christ and his Church? (These words may be omitted if the couple are advanced in years.)
Bride and Groom: We are.

Couples can choose their vows from the following options:

Groom: N., do you consent to be my wife?
Bride: I do.
Bride: Do you, N., consent to be my husband?
Groom: I do.
Groom: I take you as my wife, and I give myself to you as your husband
Bride: I take you as my husband, and I give myself to you as your wife
Both: to love each other truly, for better, for worse,for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health,till death do us part. (Or: all the days of our life.)
Priest: What God joins together man must not separate. May the Lord confirm the consent that you have given, and enrich you with his blessings.

Groom: N., do you consent to be my wife?
Bride: I do.
Bride: N., do you consent to be my husband?
Groom: I do.
Both: We take each other as husband and wife and promise to love each other trulyfor better, for worse

Dear children of God, you have come today to pledge your love before God and before the Church here present today in the person of the priest, your families and friends. In becoming husband and wife you give yourselves to each other for life. You promise to be true and faithful, to support and cherish each other until death, so that your years together will be the living out in love of the pledge you now make. May your love for each other reflect the enduring love of Christ for his Church. As you face the future together, keep in mind that the sacrament of marriage unites you with Christ, and brings you, through the years, the grace and blessing of God our Father. Marriage is from God: he alone can give you the happiness which goes beyond human expectation, and which grows deeper through the difficulties and struggles of life.Put your trust in God as you set out together in life. Make your home a centre of Christian family life. (In this you will bequeath to your children a heritage more lasting than temporal wealth.)The Christian home makes Christ and his Church present in the world of everyday things. May all who enter your home find there the presence of the Lord: for he has said: "Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them."Now as you are about to exchange your marriage vows, the Church wishes to be assured that you appreciate the meaning of what you do, and so I ask you:


Have you come here of your own free will and choice and without compulsion to marry each other?for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health,till death us do part. (Or: all the days of our life.)

Priest: What God joins together man must not separate.May the Lord confirm the consent that you have given,and enrich you with his blessings.


Groom: I, N., take you N., as my wife,for better, for worse,for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health,till death us do part. (Or: all the days of our life.)
Bride: I, N., take you, N., as my husband,for better, for worse,for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health,till death us do part. (Or: all the days of our life.)
Priest: What God joins together man must not separate.May the Lord confirm the consent that you have given,and enrich you with his blessings.

Priest: N., do you take N., as your wife,for better, for worse,for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health,till death do you part? (Or: all the days of our life.)
Groom: I do.
Priest: N., do you take N., as your husband,for better, for worse,for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health,till death do you part? (Or: all the days of our life.)
Bride: I do.
Priest: What God joins together man must not separate.May the Lord confirm the consent that you have given,and enrich you with his blessings.

Blessing of Rings. A ring is a traditional symbol and reminder of your love. Choose one of these prayers:

Priest: May the Lord bless this ring (these rings), which will be the sign of your love and fidelity
All: Amen
or Priest: Lord, bless N. and N. (Christian names) and consecrate their married life. May this ring (these rings) be a symbol of their faith in each other and a reminder them of their love. Through Christ our Lord
All: Amen

or Priest: Almighty God, bless this ring (these rings) symbols of faithfulness and unbroken love. May N. and N. always be true to each other, may they be one in heart and mind, may they be united in love forever, through Christ our Lord.All: AmenExchange of the ringsThe bridegroom gives the ring to his bride, putting it on the fourth finger of her left hand, saying:

Groom: N, wear this ring as a sign of our faithful love.In the name of the Fatherand of the Sonand of the Holy Spirit.

The bride may give a ring to her bridegroom; she does so in the same manner, saying:
Bride: N, wear this ring as a sign of our faithful love.In the name of the Fatherand of the Sonand of the Holy Spirit.
The alternative words are: N., wear this ring as a sign of our love and fidelity. In the name...

The bridegroom and bride exchange two silver coins, or give each other a small gift, as a sign that from now on they will share everything.

I give you this gold and silver [or gift], as a token of all I possess.


Prayer of the newly married couple
The couple are recommended to say together the following or some similar prayer, after everyone has received Holy Communion, if the ceremony takes place within Mass.

We thank you, Lord, and we praise youfor bringing us to this happy day.You have given us to each other.Now, together, we give ourselves to you.We ask you Lord:make us one in our love: keep us one in your peace.Protect our marriage. Bless our home.Make us gentle. Keep us faithful. And when life is over unite us again where parting is no more in the kingdom of your love.There we will praise you in the happiness and peaceof our eternal home. Amen.


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